Setting Healthy Boundaries:
Protecting Your Peace of Mind
Introduction
It takes courage to set boundaries. The first step is to protect your emotional well-being. The next step is a radical act of self-love and self-respect.
What Are Boundaries?
You set boundaries for yourself in situations to protect your time, energy and emotions. Communicating boundaries helps you prioritize your needs and maintain healthy relationships.
Boundaries are used to maintain peace of mind and to mend relationships.
Here are the 7 main types of boundaries:
1. Physical (personal space, touch)
2. Emotional (emotional investment, intimacy)
3. Time (scheduling, response times)
4. Digital (social media, online presence)
5. Intellectual (opinions, creative work)
6. Financial (spending, financial support)
7. Energetic (prioritizing self-care, rest)
Analogy - White Picket Fence
Imagine your boundary is like a white picket fence with flowers growing beside it. When someone crosses your boundary, it's like they're picking your flowers and stomping on your plants. If you get upset, speak up and set a boundary.
Why do We Need Boundaries?
Without clear, firm boundaries one's mindset can lose it's homeostasis. The person can become obsessed with anger, revenge, resentment, grief, sorrow, shame, helplessness, hatred, avoidance and much more.
Relationships wither and die when one feels that they have been taken advantage of, doesn't speak up, doesn't claim their rights. It takes courage to change dysfunctional relationships.
The
emotional and psychological benefits of setting healthy boundaries include reduced stress, increased self-esteem, and improved mental
health.
Setting Boundaries in Different Situations:
I'm not willing to discuss that. - regarding emotions, inappropriate topics, venting.
I'm not able to commit to that - regarding time & energy - open ended favors, volunteering.
Let's agree to disagree - regarding mental - opinions, thoughts, feelings, beliefs.
That is trespassing - regarding being told to move away, how to live.
I'm not comfortable with that - regarding physical - personal space, sex, appearance.
I'm not able to do that this time - regarding money - giving, lending, donating.
I can't give that to you - regarding material possessions.
It is okay to hang up the phone, change the subject, walk away, say "Let me get going."
Conclusion
Setting boundaries, assertiveness and forgiveness are key to a healthy life.
We all need to prioritize our boundaries to have healthy
relationships. By
understanding the different types of boundaries and learning how
to communicate them effectively, individuals can protect their peace of
mind, assert their needs, and cultivate more positive relationships. Mental health techniques help us become physically healthier as well.
Here are some phrases you can say to set your own boundaries:
Let's talk about something else.
Let me share a few topics, may I?
Let me get going.
Excuse me.
No. Not today.
I don't follow politics.
I don't want to know about that.
I don't want to hear this.
I don't want to do this.
I am sorry, I can't do that for you.
2022oct04, 2022nov05, 2024apr25, 2025feb28, boundaries, boundary, speak up, confront, protect, protection