Imagine your boundary is like a white picket fence with flowers growing beside it. People that pick your flowers and stomp over your plants infringe on your property. If you feel upset by how someone tells you how you should live, then stop them. Speak up. Set a boundary. They have infringed on your mind. It could take days to stop dwelling on bad advice. No trespassing here!
Boundaries are needed to maintain peace of mind and to mend relationships.
Without clear, firm boundaries one's mindset can lose it's homeostasis.
The person can become obsessed with anger, revenge, resentment, grief, sorrow, shame, helplessness, hatred, avoidance and much more.
Relationships wither and die when one feels that they have been taken advantage of, doesn't speak up, doesn't claim their rights. It takes courage to change dysfunctional relationships.
Assertiveness, setting boundaries and forgiveness are key to a healthy life.
Some phrases to say to set boundaries:
I don't want to hear this.
I don't want to do this.
I am sorry, I can't do that for you.
Let's talk about something else.
I don't follow politics.
I don't want to know about that.
Let me get going.
Excuse me.
No. Not today.
I'm not willing to discuss that. - regarding emotions, inappropriate topics, venting.
I'm not able to commit to that - regarding time & energy - open ended favors, volunteering.
Let's agree to disagree - regarding mental - opinions, thoughts, feelings, beliefs.
That is trespassing - regarding being told to move away.
I'm not comfortable with that - regarding physical - personal space, sex, appearance.
I'm not able to do that this time - regarding money - giving, lending, donating.
I can't lend you my car - regarding material possessions.
It is okay to hang up the phone, change the subject, walk away, say "Let me get going."
https://www.bonobology.com/types-boundaries-relationships/
2022oct04, 2022nov05, 2024apr25, boundaries, boundary, speak up, confront, protect, protection