No.
No, I really can't.
NO is the answer to many of my problems.
Up front, reinforcing LIMITS is much better than at the tail end.
On the run
AVOIDING obligations, volunteering, over committed.
If excessive, then resentment can build up.
NEGOTIATE - When they ask you for a favor, say "Let me think about it for a few days."
"Call me. " (put the burden on them, it is not up to you to call them).
Reinforce a "contract", the deal, the scope, how much are you offering?
No contract
Obligations
Promises
Initial expectations:
To over commitment, resentment, "being on the run", AVOIDING them.
NO.
OBLIGATED, over committed.
Cheerfully accept to help, assuming 3 hours total.
Then it becomes consuming, 30 hours a month.
ON THE RUN
Being relied upon, not being paid, being used, abused, uncompensated.
MAGNIFYING, ENHANCING, IMPROVING
CONTRACTS = rules to abide by
Contract - 3 hours, $180, firm.
Agreement
Up Front - reinforce, negotiate, limit the scope, time constraints, costs.
Be clear going in.
Normal, healthy people do not have trouble with boundaries.
/2008feb27, HEAL, Words, just say No, contracts, boundaries