Assertiveness is Vital in Conversations
- To end a conversation
- To get back on topic
- to change the subject
- to stop someone from monopolizing
- to keep a healthy balance
- to decline a sales pitch
- to stop door to door soliciting
- to deal with salesmen
- to talk to your spouse
Open Ended Questions
Open ended questions open your heart when you elaborate.
The seller will ask an open ended question
to get you to open your heart, and open your door
to allow them into your home.
The prospect does not owe anything to the seller.
Be aware of that key question, when you start rambling on
and they ‘attentively’ listen to you.
You are now vulnerable and receptive to a sales pitch.
Script
Firmly: NO.
Thankfully: I appreciate your _______.
Repeat: NO.
Say:
You have answered a lot of my questions.
I really appreciate it. I enjoyed talking with you.
Give me your phone number, if I have questions I will call you.
Mix and match statements
| I | want to | stop. |
| I | need to | take a break. |
| Let’s | take a break. | |
| Let’s | stop for now. | |
| Let’s | give it | a rest for now. |
Example
Where are you from?
answer: 50 year history full of complaints for 15 minutes.
Do not be afraid to interrupt.
Do not fear that it is not polite.
Normal expectation is a 1 – 2 minute answer.
Step in:
Say, excuse me ----------
That is enough for now. We need to get going on this.
Do not apologize.
Do not expect them to apologize.
Move on.
Rude
Rudeness is when someone is given an open ended question, or given the floor
and they monopolize the conversation among the group
and take up more than their share of time.
Time is like a piece of pizza.
If 10 people are in the group and one person talks 90% of the time,
that is the same as a pizza for 10 is cut into 10 pieces
and one person takes 9 pieces.
One other person got their share of pizza, time.
The remaining 8 people were silenced.
That person has stolen 8 pieces of pizza from 8 people.
That is more than rude, that is next to criminal.
Robbery
Do not allow people to ROB you of your precious TIME, your turn to talk.
Time is money.
Do not beat yourself up later reacting to the situation that got out of control.
Reaction
Aftermath from staying silent, and not being assertive:
20 – 30 hours being upset, binging, fretting, frustrated, lack of sleep, processing.
It is harmful to your self, body, mind and spirit to retain anger.
It is healthy to mirror back to that person then and there,
firmly, decisively, assertively and with confidence.
Summary
Be a broken record, repeat, No thank you, No, No, No.
If an open ended question is given to you, you can refuse to answer it
and terminate the encounter.
Do not let a stranger ROB you of your precious TIME and MONEY.
Do not allow cowardice to ROB you of peace of mind for the next 3 days.
The time focused on a failed encounter that spiraled out of control
can mount to days before fully recovered.
What price would you rather pay?
Losing ‘respect’ , risking loss of a mediocre relationship, not being a people pleaser
or losing authenticity, and peace of mind for 3 days?
Assertiveness builds character and strengthens relationships in the long run.
Ch 2 - Relationships
heal, 2015oct23, relationships, assertiveness, seller, 2012mar12